MISERY of A boy

ANGUISH

There was one dream-

That was shattered.

There were tones of expectations-

That burst like bubbles.

There were so many fingers pointed-

That stabbed like knives.

The boy was dead and buried-

But none realized.

May be the boy aspired too far-

Aspirations that were beyond reach.

May be he never gave his best-

As he lagged way behind the rest.

May be he was good for nothing-

Only good enough to hide his own face.

The boy failed miserably-

But none noticed.

The boy wanted to rectify-

But was too far from the shore.

Every attempt to take a step forward-

Pushed him backward.

With no way out-

The boy ran away like a coward.

There were boats for rescue-

But the boy did not realize.

Was it really his dream?

Or mere expectations forced him to aim.

Was it his fear of lagging behind?

That forced him to oblige.

Was he letting his true love go by

To fulfill his “dream”

The storm robbed the boy of everything-

But the boy did not realize.

Struck by thunder-

Drowned in mid-sea-

The boy could have attained freedom-

Freedom from despair-

Freedom of thought-

Freedom to dream-

But the boy did not realize-

And none ever noticed….

FIRST DROP OF RAIN

The first drop of rain-

The first sight of relief-

Light amidst darkness-

Melody amidst thunder-

Mother Nature at its best

Beauty personified.

The first step,

On the wet grass-

The drop of water,

Trickling down the leaf-

Drenched birds,

On the branches-

The fragrance of moist ground-

Rejuvenates the fading hope.

As the paper boats disappear-

Carrying away all the distress-

Let the tears roll down ,

And flow away with rain-

Let us embrace a new beginning-

With our arms stretched.

As the sorrows are washed away-

Let the journey begin……

MEMORABILIA

NOSTALGIA

One more year passes by as we enter our final. Let us look back and recollect the good old days of third year

Hope you all enjoy the trip down the memory lane

ImAgInOr

Check it out on youtube :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fh2e4okh5hY

AN UNREALISTIC IMAGINATION!!!!!

A DREAM

As the door opened-

And I looked up-

There was my princess,

With a beaming smile,

A smile that touched my heart,

A smile that symbolized eternal beauty.

Mesmerized by her charm-

Speechless by her elegance-

I kept staring at her face,

As she sat beside me.

As serenity prevailed in the air-

I wished, the time would come to a standstill.

How long would she be there for me?

I wanted to clutch on to her hand forever,

As I feared losing my princess.

I wanted her to smile,

And I would go a thousand miles to see her smile.

But could I make her smile forever?

She closed my eyes-

And I was lost in my dream.

As I came back to reality,

She was gone.

A feeling of emptiness was all that I had-

As I stared at the empty chair beside me.

I looked at the open door-

There she was,

Walking away with her prince,

And smiling brightly as ever,

As she disappeared into the darkness,

The door was again closed.

I was still smiling-

As my princess bid adieu,

Because I wanted her to smile forever,

And she was smiling as she disappeared.

It was just a dream,

That was never meant to be a reality.

6 MINUTES OF GLORY

8 groups, 10 members in each, all started a new journey 3 weeks back......in search of 6 minutes of glory. The motive of all was same--to make their very own first short film for the Cognizant carnival.....Oh! there was so much enthusiasm among all.....the competition was bound to be tough.

Finally it is over!!!! 14th march saw the end of two of the most hectic weeks of my college life till date. It saw 7 groups end up empty handed and one with the honour of representing our college at the prestigious meet of different colleges. Kudos and congrats to them......You really made us proud!!!

Lot was at stake........on one hand there was pride, honour and dream of making it big at first shot and on the other hand there was trust, loyalty, an opportunity to have fun and learn something new. Some chose to make it a gala affair with a picture-perfect movie with assistance from experienced people and some decided to make it an experience of their lifetime, enjoying every moment and taking pride in everything they did……..I respect both the approaches and congrats to all for making such beautiful movies.

The last two weeks have been an eye-opening experience in the true sense. Not only did we learn how to make movies but also it brought out the hidden talent of many……and of course not to forget the true colours of many of our very close friends.

We as humans thrive on success and we are ready to put everything at stake for it. It took two long years to develop a close bonding among all of us based on some small terms like “TRUST”, “HONESTY”, and “LOYALTY”. and it took six mere minutes to break it. into pieces. We all fear failure, so success at the cost of friends is the order of the day……..this is what we term as “PROFESSIONALISM”.

I am no exception…I’m too human and wanted to taste success. So I put my professional life ahead of my personal grudges for the last 3 weeks. I was compelled to take someone in my group whom I hate talking to………someone who played with the emotions of my friends……..someone whom I condemn openly for his/her lose character. I guess that is another aspect of working in a group that I learnt over the last few weeks—COMPROMISE”. I know my action has hurt many and I apologize for it………..Sorry mates if I let you down somewhere.

Personally speaking I was dead against taking ay professional help for the movie. But I have no problem if my friends thought the other way round……..We all have our own opinions but what really hurt me was lack of honesty among many of my friends. Why did they try to hide true facts? Why did they try to divert from the main issue with other controversies( though they were no small controversies and also highlighted the true colours of many which startled me)? We were supposed to be close friends then what stopped them from sharing the truth? I guess we were not trustworthy. I again repeat I had no problem in people taking professional help to make the movie a grand success, but what irritates me is the way my friends ran away from the problem rather than facing it like bold men. I wish you had trusted us………we would have been honoured.

I know all my friends did not want to hide true facts (or else we would not have known ever about all this), but still what is the point in refraining from speaking the truth when it is to bound to come into light someday? Moreover it really hurts when you get to know such bitter facts from someone else…it really hurts my dear friends.

My friends will argue it was not an individual decision and it was unanimously decided to keep the truth as secret…and that is one of the principles of working in a group-to stand by the decision. I have no problem with that too mate. But is it right to misguide your so called friends with innumerable lies? One of my friend says, “There is difference between hiding true facts and being dishonest to keep secrets.” I agree with him…….My anger would not have been so severe had they adapted the first method.

The wounds will surely take some time to heal, but at least my friends had the courage to come up and confess their mistake………….Its better late than never. I understand what might have forced you take such a hasty decision to hide facts, but was it really worthwhile?? Was it right to jeopardize friendship of two long years for a mere video of six minutes?? You can only answer them my friends.

Anyways I am ready to forget everything as a bad dream and start afresh……We were great friends and we remain so………….no more hard feelings………But Please"donot break the TRUST……..because once you take out the letter ‘T’ from the word TRUST…..the RUST is almost impossible to be erased".

IDENTITY CRISIS

I could hear the thunder roaring-

I could see the darkening sky-

I realised the end was beckoning-

An end that was inevitable.

I stood in front of the shattered mirror-

I could not recognise myself,

Who was it?

It was surely not me!

Who am I?

Am I someone

Who wil always remain a loser?

Am I someone 

Who will never be trustworthy?

The truth is- 

I am no one.

I am just an uncivilised animal-

Not fit to be a part of you all.

I am a liar -

Who deserves to be a failure.

Why can't I be like others?

I try my best to be like them-

But I find myself alone-

To sulk in my own pain.

I am a lonely soul-

Who does not desrerve to have friends.

I am like a curse-

Who thrives on the pain of others.

Shame on me-

I do not deserve to be happy.

I know I am not fit to be a part of all-

But I cant change myself-

Hang me for my sins-

Let my death bring an end to this agony.

Oh! please tell me-

Who am I?

Am I just a disgraced soul?

Am I alive but dead.?

ONE NIGHT AT THE CREMATORIUM

Every incident, every situation and every moment has a significance of its own. 26^th January was no exception. My grandmother expired and we (my dad, my relatives and I ) had gone to crematorium to complete her last rites. This was my second visit to the most dreaded place in the city, a place that sees the end of the journey called LIFE.

As I stood beside my grandma’s body waiting in a queue for our turn I saw many things which unearthed different shades of the society which are rare and surprising.

INCIDENT A

Inquisitiveness is one special quality of humans. Whatever may be the situation humans cannot resist from being Mr/Mrs, curious. Cant we resist ourselves from asking questions in situations of adversity? For example:- We only go to the crematorium when some close relative dies( barring the day when we would be carried by the rest for our last rites). It is no place for merry making. People are bound to be sad and emotional when some one close to you dies( that is what my common sense tells me but there can be few exceptions). How can someone go up to the grief-struck people and enquire about the reasons for their closed ones’ demise??? How can a person who has come to cremate his/her own relative’s body be interested about other people?

10 feet from my grandma’s body lay a body of a 14 year old boy. Surrounding him were his unfortunate father, family members and other relatives. The scene was pathetic. Nothing could compensate for the loss. No one could console the father. I looked away from the scene. Surprisingly I saw some people ( there is no dearth of people in a crematorium) go near the dead body of the boy to get a glance of him. Soon the true traits of human being were highlighted. Someone asked “ What happened? Was he sick? Was it an accident case?” Can you imagine the situation………..there a father who had lost his young son was mourning and the imprudent people were too interested in enquiring about the reason of his death. For heavens sake cant they leave someone alone even to mourn in silence?? Can they bring back his son if they knew the reason why or how the boy died??? That’s the inquisitiveness for all of you.

INCIDENT B

I did hear from my grandparents that people used to take pictures of their dead relatives just before performing the last rites. I even saw such a picture in one of my relatives house. Trust me its is awful. How can people look at such a photograph for the rest of their life reminding him/her of the day the beloved person expired.

If this was unacceptable, I honestly condemn what I saw on 26^th January. I was aghast to see such an incident. To the right of my grandmother’s body lay a body of a very old lady. It seemed she was deep into her slumber and rested in peace. Many relatives had gathered to pay their homage to her. In the midst of all of them I saw one person roaming about with a camera. I did not take me much time guessing that he would surely take her photograph before she was cremated. But the next moment I was gaping at what I saw. I never expected to have such an experience in my wildest dreams. The photographer announced “ Lets take the photograph before the priest arrives.” All the relatives gathered. I could not understand what the hell was going on. Then, with the body in the fore front all the relatives stood in a huddle. It appeared they were going off for a tour( like our cricket team) The photographer said “READY” and clicked the camera. It was a family photograph to be preserved in the family album for the next generations to see how their grandma was cremated. I again raise the question are we really sad when someone dies?? Or is it a formality to express our grief because that is what the society demands?? How can people indulge in such things at the time of such immense loss??

May be the family members and the old lady’s soul would truly rest in peace now after her demise. After all someone’s pain/loss is somebody’s gain.

INCIDENT C

On 26^th January the rush at the crematorium was comparatively less. There was a certain degree of calmness in the air amidst the mourning of the unfortunate families. Suddenly the silence was broken as a film star came to cremate his mother. The dormant employees suddenly became active.

It was surprising to find out that if you are a reputed person of the society you can even book a spot ahead of the normal people in a crematorium. One of the assistants of the star and came and said,” Mr. X’s mother has expired. We informed you on the phone. Is everything ready?” The employee replied, “ yes sir everything is ready. Please get the death certificate and we will serve you to the best of our ability.”

That’s the advantage of being a star or famous. And how can I forget the inquisitive nature of other people around. Every individual present at the crematorium tried to get a glance of the star’s mother. Did she look different from other human beings? Was she unique because her son was a film star. I have no answer because I did not have a clear vision from the side of my grandma’s body.

Many relatives of the film star had too come to the crematorium. All of them were crying( may be crocodile tears) and appeared to be very sad at the sudden demise of the old lady. As her son completed the last rites and put her inside the electrical chullah, all cried out loud. Five minutes later I saw one of them still shouting. May be she was still very sad lose a close relative. But the fact is she was angry because she was not served tea and biscuits and she waited for the old ladies body to burn to ashes. Is it not contradiction of emotions???

And for the film star himself, He sat in the crematorium office, sipped hot tea and chatted with the workers. 3 days later I saw him attending public functions. May be that’s what his profession demands. No disrespect to the great actor though

INCIDEN D

26^th January 2009 11.30 pm , The electronic scroll board outside NIMTOLA crematorium flashed in bright green colour “ All the employees of the crematorium are paid workers. Please do not pay them any extra amount barring the cremation costs”.

But who cares. At every step or ritual you go through u have to be ready with some money to please the employees. Everything is this world has a value. The effort of the employees is no exception.

INCIDENT E

Last and the worst of all the shades of the society………….Once The rituals at the crematorium were over ,before we returned I saw people( including my own relatives) have hot tea and biscuits. Can someone explain is it a rule or some ritual to drink tea at the crematorium???? Do we ever drink tea late at night on normal days?? What is so special about the tea outside the crematorium?? Is it a moment of joy which we need to cherish and enjoy??

Moreover once we return, all have to eat sweets and sugar syrup before entering their respective houses. Who made this ritual?? Is it a moment of glory that we need to celebrate?? What is so special about someone’s death that we need to have sweets???

These were few eye-catching incidents that came to my notice in my stay at the crematorium for 3 hours. There might have been many more situations which I missed or overlooked but I guess these are more than enough to portray the true colour of the society. Cant we do away with such absurd, idiotic rituals?? Cant we control our inquisitiveness and allow people to mourn in peace??

Finally I hope amidst all the chaos, commotion may the souls of the dead people and my grandma rest in peace.

A SMALL EPIC

THE HUNTER AND THE HUNTED

PROLOGUE

The post is temporarily unavailable for viewing. Inconvenience is regretted!!

EPILOGUE

Please watch below space for more update!

NOSTALGIA

RETROSPECTION

1^st JANUARY 2008

www.a*******y.com :-

ARIES ( Mar18-April 20)

“Work figures especially strongly in 2008 for you, dear Aries. Some form of pleasant culmination in your professional life brings rewards and recognition. Still, despite the fact that you're loving your career this year, you are also working especially hard. The inclination is towards more detail work, and it can get to you at times.

Close personal relationships are not making big headlines for you this year, which could be a good thing, although you should definitely take some solid time off for recreation

This is a year 2008 when you might be required to take important decisions regarding your life

Health wise this year 2008 is good for Aries but should be careful about stress related complications such as loosing of weight and weakness in the body.”

Year 2008 was supposed to be a great year for me as per my horoscope. A year when I would we be diligent in my work, get due rewards, have good relationships with all and have good health. That sounds like a smooth sailing indeed. But was that the reality?

Was 2008 a year to cherish? Was it a year where I had more positives than negatives?

Lets find out –

Before starting let me give this analysis a name ( likes astrology stands for reading ones future). How about “ RETROSPECTION”. So let me begin my journey down the memory lane.

2008 OVERVIEW:-

JANUARY 08 – JULY 08

The new year like every year brought with it freshness, calmness and hope. The serenity in the blue sky, the bright sunshine, loads of best wishes from my friends and cousins on the first morning of the new year signaled a new beginning. A beginning that made me forget the past year and filled my heart with new zeal to start afresh…….a start to a year where I promised to smile, be happy and make others happy and enjoy myself to the fullest and shun my habit of smoking

The months of January and February were great. Getting back to college after a month’s lay-off, meeting friends after a long time was fun. Adjusting to the increasing burden of subjects and still managing more time to enjoy ourselves, bunking classes, chatting for hours outside college or in the playground with the setting sun in the background…..Oh! the fun and smile was back……..amidst al the crazy things we did there was peace and silence- mental peace and happiness……I was happy and lucky to have such great friends around me. It seems the predictions of the site was not very wrong---a perfect start to a “to-be” perfect year.

…….“The match is not over till the fat lady sings”………..how correct the saying is………how imprudent I was to start judging a whole year by two mere month. The best rather the worst was yet to come. March and April saw the start of a period where I had to redefine my outlook towards everything in life. It was a start of a learning curve that revealed different shades of people. It showed how complex things can be. The more I tried to get myself out of the chaos the more tightly it clutched onto me…….the smile disappeared. But still I tried my best to keep myself happy and make others happy. A smile on my “friends’” face made me smile too amidst the turmoil. I hope I was able to live up to the expectations of my dear friends.

As the month of April passed. so did my birthday. No one knew about it and even 2-3 people who knew my birthday forgot or did not have enough balance in their mobiles to wish me. Anyways no bitter feeling as I hate celebrating my birthday and the fault is mine. I should have informed them about my birthday. I am no famous personality or star that they ought to remember my birthday…………I apologize for having such high expectations.

The month of May brought with it more hurdles and I could cross none of them. I stood like a helpless person watching myself succumb under the pressure. I committed the biggest blunder of the year in this very month. A blunder that made me weak and dependent on a person. The blunder of sharing my secrets with someone I trusted blindly. This is what I did not want……….I did not want to depend on anyone. I again apologize for such act of callousness.

Two incidents dated 27^th March and !7^th April 2008 brought out the true colour of many among our department. We were the first department to be suspended in college twice in a semester( truly an achievement). Though we were not at fault both the times but I thank the teachers for taking such a stern step. It made us stand united in the tough times and highlighted the self-centered mentality of many. I better not get into such controversial topics. I respect every individual’s perspective.

Soon the semester exams were over and the much awaited holidays gave me a chance to

look forward to a fresh beginning from the month of August. But the holidays too taught me an important lesson- “Do all the good you can for your friends but never expect anything from anyone”. No one remembers you when your need is over. “A friend in need is a friend indeed” is a saying of the past.

There were moment of happiness too in these seven months. My 3^rd semester results were satisfactory beyond my expectations. I saw a few of my friends finding their love in their best friends and their smile made me happy. I was happy as I became friends with more people while I tried my best to cling on to one of my closest friends in college. I was also very happy for one of my friends as he slowly and steadily tried to overcome his agony and pain. Thank you mate for making me happy.

AUGUST 08 – DECEMBER 08

The holidays were over. College was about to open but where was my enthusiasm? Was I not happy to go back to college and spending gala time with friends? For the first time in two years of college I did not want to go back to college. My mind was still tired and my spirits had not yet rejuvenated. I did manage to get back to college and had the same smile on my face. But I was exhausted. Unfortunately things did not improve. They became worse with every passing day. The more I tried to hold on to my friend the more difficult it became .I was unnecessary trying to delay the inevitable. How selfish I was. The facts were right in front of me but I purposely ignored them. I feared the reality. I wanted to run away from the problem. I was a coward. I was a burden and tried in vain to be a good friend. Shame on me.

September-October finally saw the end of the friendship………….rather I lost a friend to whom I still remain indebted. The only friend with whom I spoke freely about myself. I know I disturbed, irritated,troubled my friend a lot in 2008. I hope I will not repeat it in 2009. I lost the battle.

Thanks to all these incidents I as expected could not adhere to my resolutions. On the contrary it was blown away by more black smoke. Kudos to me for such great achievement.

The month of November had more surprises in store. Four days before the semester practical exam I was down and out with chicken pox. Oh! What perfect timing to fall ill.

It was the fitting end to a perfect semester, a semester which could be truly called the semester of disaster. The exams were horrible as expected . but this was not the end of all. But this situation too taught me something very important. Come what may happen I have my parents to bank on. My illness may have spoiled my exams but brought me closer to my dad and mom. Thank you baba and ma for your support and love.

The month of December wrapped up the year with an ideal ending. My last try to patch up things with my lost friend was again a failure. I was again the culprit who made matters worse, but trust me I only wanted to sort out matters.

The semester also brought about new experiences. For the first time in life I got Incomplete in a subject. I thought I had failed in the exam but fortunately it was a mistake on behalf of the university.

Yes the semester also had moments of glory . Though I was not the part of the football team of I.T. I enjoyed every moment of our success and being crowned as the champions once again. I did play my role too. I was fortunate to get the opportunity to capture every moment of our victory on my cell phone camera. Thanks a lot friends for presenting me with such an opportunity. I was also back to talking terms with another friend whom I had lost because of certain difference of opinion.

This post would have been really incomplete without mentioning two close friends. One of them being a friend of over 10 years. I really treasure the person’s friendship. We may not speak to each other every day but he is and always will be a true friend of mine. The second person is the one who has finally overcome all his difficulties. His smile makes me happy and cling on to the hope that my problems and difficulties are nothing compared to his. Thank you friends!!!!

I thank all my friends who have made 2008 a memorable one. I hope I lived up to your expectations. I apologize to all if I hurt you somewhere down the lane. I wish you all success and happiness in the coming year

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1^st JANUARY 2009

www.a*******y.com :-

ARIES ( Mar18-April 20)

"Pioneering and courageous Aries is being called to times of incredible new growth and renewal. The considerable reflective time you have spent rehashing and deciding which avenue will best serve your highest purpose has shaken you to the very root of your personal belief systems. Through surrendering to your higher self, new realizations and golden opportunities you never thought possible are brilliantly opening up for you."

The new year like every year brings with it freshness, calmness and hope. The serenity in the blue sky, the bright sunshine, loads of best wishes from my friends and cousins on the first morning of the new year signals a new beginning. A beginning that makes me forget the past year and fills my heart with new zeal to start afresh…….a start to a year where I promise to smile, be happy and make others happy and enjoy myself to the fullest

CHEERS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!! :) :)