ONE NIGHT AT THE CREMATORIUM

Every incident, every situation and every moment has a significance of its own. 26^th January was no exception. My grandmother expired and we (my dad, my relatives and I ) had gone to crematorium to complete her last rites. This was my second visit to the most dreaded place in the city, a place that sees the end of the journey called LIFE.

As I stood beside my grandma’s body waiting in a queue for our turn I saw many things which unearthed different shades of the society which are rare and surprising.

INCIDENT A

Inquisitiveness is one special quality of humans. Whatever may be the situation humans cannot resist from being Mr/Mrs, curious. Cant we resist ourselves from asking questions in situations of adversity? For example:- We only go to the crematorium when some close relative dies( barring the day when we would be carried by the rest for our last rites). It is no place for merry making. People are bound to be sad and emotional when some one close to you dies( that is what my common sense tells me but there can be few exceptions). How can someone go up to the grief-struck people and enquire about the reasons for their closed ones’ demise??? How can a person who has come to cremate his/her own relative’s body be interested about other people?

10 feet from my grandma’s body lay a body of a 14 year old boy. Surrounding him were his unfortunate father, family members and other relatives. The scene was pathetic. Nothing could compensate for the loss. No one could console the father. I looked away from the scene. Surprisingly I saw some people ( there is no dearth of people in a crematorium) go near the dead body of the boy to get a glance of him. Soon the true traits of human being were highlighted. Someone asked “ What happened? Was he sick? Was it an accident case?” Can you imagine the situation………..there a father who had lost his young son was mourning and the imprudent people were too interested in enquiring about the reason of his death. For heavens sake cant they leave someone alone even to mourn in silence?? Can they bring back his son if they knew the reason why or how the boy died??? That’s the inquisitiveness for all of you.

INCIDENT B

I did hear from my grandparents that people used to take pictures of their dead relatives just before performing the last rites. I even saw such a picture in one of my relatives house. Trust me its is awful. How can people look at such a photograph for the rest of their life reminding him/her of the day the beloved person expired.

If this was unacceptable, I honestly condemn what I saw on 26^th January. I was aghast to see such an incident. To the right of my grandmother’s body lay a body of a very old lady. It seemed she was deep into her slumber and rested in peace. Many relatives had gathered to pay their homage to her. In the midst of all of them I saw one person roaming about with a camera. I did not take me much time guessing that he would surely take her photograph before she was cremated. But the next moment I was gaping at what I saw. I never expected to have such an experience in my wildest dreams. The photographer announced “ Lets take the photograph before the priest arrives.” All the relatives gathered. I could not understand what the hell was going on. Then, with the body in the fore front all the relatives stood in a huddle. It appeared they were going off for a tour( like our cricket team) The photographer said “READY” and clicked the camera. It was a family photograph to be preserved in the family album for the next generations to see how their grandma was cremated. I again raise the question are we really sad when someone dies?? Or is it a formality to express our grief because that is what the society demands?? How can people indulge in such things at the time of such immense loss??

May be the family members and the old lady’s soul would truly rest in peace now after her demise. After all someone’s pain/loss is somebody’s gain.

INCIDENT C

On 26^th January the rush at the crematorium was comparatively less. There was a certain degree of calmness in the air amidst the mourning of the unfortunate families. Suddenly the silence was broken as a film star came to cremate his mother. The dormant employees suddenly became active.

It was surprising to find out that if you are a reputed person of the society you can even book a spot ahead of the normal people in a crematorium. One of the assistants of the star and came and said,” Mr. X’s mother has expired. We informed you on the phone. Is everything ready?” The employee replied, “ yes sir everything is ready. Please get the death certificate and we will serve you to the best of our ability.”

That’s the advantage of being a star or famous. And how can I forget the inquisitive nature of other people around. Every individual present at the crematorium tried to get a glance of the star’s mother. Did she look different from other human beings? Was she unique because her son was a film star. I have no answer because I did not have a clear vision from the side of my grandma’s body.

Many relatives of the film star had too come to the crematorium. All of them were crying( may be crocodile tears) and appeared to be very sad at the sudden demise of the old lady. As her son completed the last rites and put her inside the electrical chullah, all cried out loud. Five minutes later I saw one of them still shouting. May be she was still very sad lose a close relative. But the fact is she was angry because she was not served tea and biscuits and she waited for the old ladies body to burn to ashes. Is it not contradiction of emotions???

And for the film star himself, He sat in the crematorium office, sipped hot tea and chatted with the workers. 3 days later I saw him attending public functions. May be that’s what his profession demands. No disrespect to the great actor though

INCIDEN D

26^th January 2009 11.30 pm , The electronic scroll board outside NIMTOLA crematorium flashed in bright green colour “ All the employees of the crematorium are paid workers. Please do not pay them any extra amount barring the cremation costs”.

But who cares. At every step or ritual you go through u have to be ready with some money to please the employees. Everything is this world has a value. The effort of the employees is no exception.

INCIDENT E

Last and the worst of all the shades of the society………….Once The rituals at the crematorium were over ,before we returned I saw people( including my own relatives) have hot tea and biscuits. Can someone explain is it a rule or some ritual to drink tea at the crematorium???? Do we ever drink tea late at night on normal days?? What is so special about the tea outside the crematorium?? Is it a moment of joy which we need to cherish and enjoy??

Moreover once we return, all have to eat sweets and sugar syrup before entering their respective houses. Who made this ritual?? Is it a moment of glory that we need to celebrate?? What is so special about someone’s death that we need to have sweets???

These were few eye-catching incidents that came to my notice in my stay at the crematorium for 3 hours. There might have been many more situations which I missed or overlooked but I guess these are more than enough to portray the true colour of the society. Cant we do away with such absurd, idiotic rituals?? Cant we control our inquisitiveness and allow people to mourn in peace??

Finally I hope amidst all the chaos, commotion may the souls of the dead people and my grandma rest in peace.